Daniel's Shadow: A Persona 4 inspired Fanfic (with some Christianity lessons included)
I've recently been playing Persona 4 Golden, and I always wondered what it would be like to face my Shadow, the side of myself I'm ashamed of I would like to pretend doesn't exist.
Since I'm more than well aware of my flaws, hope Persona fans enjoy this. Also, for those who have ever felt I don't live up to my Christian ideals, I'm going to address those concerns, so for you Christians in the audience (and those who think I'm doing a bad LARP as one), this also is something of a Bible recap of things where I admit what I haven't always lived up to, and I hope this fictionalized account of my own flaws serves to help you all face your own failings and avoid making my mistakes.
Here goes:
As Daniel slowly felt himself regain consciousness, he realized the floor felt cold and unfamiliar as his eyes slowly adjusted to the almost supernaturally bright light.
As the feeling reentered his body and he stood up, he realized he was no longer in his own home, but instead something that looked like it was right out of some cliche JRPG, complete with a massive demonic throne, eerie supernatural lights that seemed glaring despite no apparent source, and a rolling mist that made his search for the door impossible.
"Enjoy the decor? You always had a flair for the dramatic."
As Daniel whirled around, he saw a figure that looked just like himself sitting on the throne, except they were wearing armor fit for a classic fantasy hero, which clashed horribly with the skull and horn motif of the throne. As the figure got up, a chill went through his spine as he realized the armored figure indeed wore his own face, and the piercing gaze of contempt from the yellow eyes of his apparent clone regarded him mockingly as he demanded:
"What is this?!"
The figure laughed drily.
"Spare me the faux ignorance, Daniel. You've always loved dramatic confrontations of good versus evil since your childhood. You always wanted to be some great hero slaying demons and saving the world because you've always thought it was cool. Even your Christian faith is nothing more than an extension of that black and white view of reality."
Daniel was stunned to hear what sounded so much like himself with creepy monotone reverb in their condescending voice, and sure enough, the room he was in he recognized, it was like a mishmash of every final confrontation with every supreme evil in all of JRPG history.
As this occurred to him, the figure approached, produced a sword from behind his back, and tossed the blade at Daniel's feet, voice still dripping with contempt as it continued on:
"Oh, don't even bother denying it. You have professed to hate violence, but you are thrilled at the idea of being one to use a blade and spell to destroy all that is evil in video games. You've told others you love your enemies, but if you got a chance to slay them and rationalize it as a moral act, you'd be the first to do so if it meant you'd be innocent of committing murder in the eyes of God. And let's not forget, you profess humility, yet you'd love the attention for being one that is recognized for doing great deeds."
With that, the figure gestured at the blade as if Daniel should pick it up, and as Daniel hesitated, the figure continued speaking:
"This is a scene right out of your fantasies. You are facing someone who is trying to destroy your spirit by breaking your will, and you'd love to show the world it will remain unbroken. Despite the sin of pride, you'd burst with more than you could ever handle if you were victorious over me. You're vain, you're pretentious, and a fool who believes he can enter a viper's den without ever becoming tainted by the venom."
As the figure finished, Daniel moved to grasp the blade, and his doppelganger laughed as demanded,
"That's right, Daniel, accept it. You're no moral paragon, you're nowhere near what Jesus wants you to be. You may be innocent of the crimes of those who believe false witness about you, but your true crime is even greater. You put on a facade of morality to hide that deep inside, you're a coward. Despite all that talk you've made of bravery before men and how God is your only judge, the judgment of men haunts you."
The grip on the blade in Daniel's hand tightened as he fought to keep his composure, and his counterpart just kept talking:
"Getting through to you now, Daniel? Your morality is a joke. You are a vain, self-centered liar who puts up a show to the world that you want to rise above your sins when you haven't moved past them an inch. You proclaim to be free of lust and greed, but your lusty greed to be recognized for such is even greater than if you were actually guilty of true degeneracy. All you are a shallow, hollow hypocrite, Daniel Cullen. You may know the Word of God, but when it comes time to face true judgment, you live in fear that very Word will condemn you in the world after the world of Men, and you can't face that."
The figure paused, then added with as much snide as possible,
"Just like you can't accept you're me, and I'm not a great evil to slay, I'm what you are in the mirror!"
Daniel froze, his face a miasma of conflict and desperate urge to deny what he was hearing as the armored one wearing his own face stepped forward, sword at the ready, proclaiming triumphantly:
"THAT'S RIGHT. I AM YOUR SHADOW, THE TRUE SELF!"
Since I'm more than well aware of my flaws, hope Persona fans enjoy this. Also, for those who have ever felt I don't live up to my Christian ideals, I'm going to address those concerns, so for you Christians in the audience (and those who think I'm doing a bad LARP as one), this also is something of a Bible recap of things where I admit what I haven't always lived up to, and I hope this fictionalized account of my own flaws serves to help you all face your own failings and avoid making my mistakes.
Here goes:
As Daniel slowly felt himself regain consciousness, he realized the floor felt cold and unfamiliar as his eyes slowly adjusted to the almost supernaturally bright light.
As the feeling reentered his body and he stood up, he realized he was no longer in his own home, but instead something that looked like it was right out of some cliche JRPG, complete with a massive demonic throne, eerie supernatural lights that seemed glaring despite no apparent source, and a rolling mist that made his search for the door impossible.
"Enjoy the decor? You always had a flair for the dramatic."
As Daniel whirled around, he saw a figure that looked just like himself sitting on the throne, except they were wearing armor fit for a classic fantasy hero, which clashed horribly with the skull and horn motif of the throne. As the figure got up, a chill went through his spine as he realized the armored figure indeed wore his own face, and the piercing gaze of contempt from the yellow eyes of his apparent clone regarded him mockingly as he demanded:
"What is this?!"
The figure laughed drily.
"Spare me the faux ignorance, Daniel. You've always loved dramatic confrontations of good versus evil since your childhood. You always wanted to be some great hero slaying demons and saving the world because you've always thought it was cool. Even your Christian faith is nothing more than an extension of that black and white view of reality."
Daniel was stunned to hear what sounded so much like himself with creepy monotone reverb in their condescending voice, and sure enough, the room he was in he recognized, it was like a mishmash of every final confrontation with every supreme evil in all of JRPG history.
As this occurred to him, the figure approached, produced a sword from behind his back, and tossed the blade at Daniel's feet, voice still dripping with contempt as it continued on:
"Oh, don't even bother denying it. You have professed to hate violence, but you are thrilled at the idea of being one to use a blade and spell to destroy all that is evil in video games. You've told others you love your enemies, but if you got a chance to slay them and rationalize it as a moral act, you'd be the first to do so if it meant you'd be innocent of committing murder in the eyes of God. And let's not forget, you profess humility, yet you'd love the attention for being one that is recognized for doing great deeds."
With that, the figure gestured at the blade as if Daniel should pick it up, and as Daniel hesitated, the figure continued speaking:
"This is a scene right out of your fantasies. You are facing someone who is trying to destroy your spirit by breaking your will, and you'd love to show the world it will remain unbroken. Despite the sin of pride, you'd burst with more than you could ever handle if you were victorious over me. You're vain, you're pretentious, and a fool who believes he can enter a viper's den without ever becoming tainted by the venom."
As the figure finished, Daniel moved to grasp the blade, and his doppelganger laughed as demanded,
"That's right, Daniel, accept it. You're no moral paragon, you're nowhere near what Jesus wants you to be. You may be innocent of the crimes of those who believe false witness about you, but your true crime is even greater. You put on a facade of morality to hide that deep inside, you're a coward. Despite all that talk you've made of bravery before men and how God is your only judge, the judgment of men haunts you."
The grip on the blade in Daniel's hand tightened as he fought to keep his composure, and his counterpart just kept talking:
"Getting through to you now, Daniel? Your morality is a joke. You are a vain, self-centered liar who puts up a show to the world that you want to rise above your sins when you haven't moved past them an inch. You proclaim to be free of lust and greed, but your lusty greed to be recognized for such is even greater than if you were actually guilty of true degeneracy. All you are a shallow, hollow hypocrite, Daniel Cullen. You may know the Word of God, but when it comes time to face true judgment, you live in fear that very Word will condemn you in the world after the world of Men, and you can't face that."
The figure paused, then added with as much snide as possible,
"Just like you can't accept you're me, and I'm not a great evil to slay, I'm what you are in the mirror!"
Daniel froze, his face a miasma of conflict and desperate urge to deny what he was hearing as the armored one wearing his own face stepped forward, sword at the ready, proclaiming triumphantly:
"THAT'S RIGHT. I AM YOUR SHADOW, THE TRUE SELF!"
This was really good. Any chance we will get more chapters out of this? It has the potential to be a great series!
ReplyDeleteDidn't really plan on it. This was more an experiment. I originally planned on writing a standard Bible lesson post, but then I decided dramatized self-fanfic with a moral based on the style of the Persona 4 writing style might be more interesting. Nice to know I apparently have some writing talent for fiction regardless though.
DeleteI'd urge you to reconsider it. With the recent release of Persona 4 Golden on steam, interest in Persona inspired media is high and I think a christian take on the series would be important, especially in comparison to Persona 5 and it's questionable quest to rebel and kill God. It would also give you a structure to take on several topics in a structured manner.
DeleteWell, I do feel a need to make a correction on something. Persona 5 has you take down a FALSE god. Yaldaboth is the Gnostic take on God, and Gnosticism is a heretical take on Christianity that goes all the way back to it's formalized adoption as the state religion of the late Roman Empire. Also, the main series is clear you aren't killing the REAL God, merely a twisted and corrupt version of the real deal borne out of a twisted perception of what the real God actually is. Human belief is confirmed to give demons their appearance and powers, hence why the mainline version of "God" in SMT is evil, the SMT universe has a sadly negative perception of what God truly is and their collective belief gave birth to something horrible as a result.
DeleteAs for the writing concept, I'll take it under advisement, you make a good point on how I could deliver decent moral based on dramatized fictional prose written as a form of parable.
Well, ok. Just a last question because i got curious. Who would your persona be and what weapon would you fight with?
DeleteThat's a hard question to answer, but it would probably be some kind of staff or long blade I'd consider using, mostly because I'd prefer the defensive possibilities and reach. As for Arcana I'd draw from, I have a few ideas, but I'd likely draw on something from the Hierophant or Magician Arcana.
Delete