My stance on people being nasty

I'm writing this to make perfectly clear, in case there is ambiguity, my stance on how much I can take before I don't want to put up with nastiness.

First off, just want to get out there I'm a stolid defender of free speech, and simply being offensive, even to the point of being an asshole, is not a crime, and while I might have to restrain the urge to hit someone for being this to me, I will defend their right to be that way.

However, and I'll cover this in more detail as I go on, there is a point when I no longer consider it justified as far as my personal limits go.

In real life, civility is a rule in every place that observes civilized behavoir. I expect it, and I expect it to be returned. Common sense, but I admit it annoys me when people act like this isn't true when it otherwise is.

Granted, life is not ideal, and I'm not blind to the fact rules alone do not make human nature bow to reason, but in the real world, such incivility usually has social or legal consequences, which strikes me as a fair enough reason not to get too worked up over it

When we get to talking about the temporal world of the Internet, things change.

Me, I try to be the same civil person online as I am in real life, it's just in my nature not to be an asshole. Part of that I ascribe to my religious beliefs, as I'm Christian and I ascribe to the Golden Rule, but another part of it is that there was a time when I wasn't as nice and civil that I admit I'm ashamed of, and I'd rather rise above who I was than sink to that level again.

I am not naive, however. The internet, with it's tendency of anonymity, it's distance from real humans speaking face to face, and it's breezier and more informal structure, it does not lend as well to reinforcing the idea that being a jackass is not acceptable, and in some places is tolerated, encouraged, and even outright celebrated, which is good, people do need some safety valves where they can let go of the nastiness they suppress elsewhere, and I even patronize some of these places.


But that's when my limits arise.


While I tolerate people being nasty in jest just fine, humor is often offensive and is often funnier for it, doing it too often with me as the target on a consistent basis feels less like fun with offensive humor and more like it's being done as personal insult. Maybe I need a thicker skin in this regard, but after a point, it's not funny to me, it's just mean, and when I ask for it to cease, then I expect people to realize they crossed a line and back off. If they keep going, I consider that to be my cue to either report them to whatever authority is available or pack up and leave.


Of course, not all places on the internet adhere to this standard, even places that are offensive by nature that still have, on paper, some hard rules for when you need to cut it out on the offensiveness, and I guess that's when my autism comes into play.

One of the key symptoms of autism is taking things literally, and while I consider myself fortunate, years of training have allowed me to overcome many of it's more negative aspects, one thing I tend to take literally is when someone establishes rules in any venue where discourtesy is verboten after a point and that it can and should be reported.

If it gets to the point it passes my limits, and, more importantly, the limits the rules says should not be pushed, I will report it. If the authority that is supposed to enforce said policy does not, or worse, is guilty of egging on what they need to stop instead, I admit, it makes me angry, because I consider it hypocrisy.

If that makes me an autist, then so be it, guilty as sperged.

I've been told at some of these places I just need to accept such things, especially if I have a reputation that would draw such nastiness like flies to shit, and I admit, my internet "name" is attached to a website that discusses works of media ranging from family friendly to utterly depraved, not to mention I've talked shit about some horribly nasty and hypocritical people, so I'm gonna get shit on, I need to accept that.

Okay, if that's true, then guess I do need a thicker skin.

At the same time, if I still derive value from where I'm getting shit on, I guess it's my sperg nature to want to gut it out even if don't like getting shit on, and until it gets utterly intolerable, that's what I plan to do.

But make no mistake: At the end of the day, I still value my dignity more, and if you held a gun to my head and forced me choose between that and accepting being shit on when I could take my dignity and leave, the latter is will ultimately be my choice.

And if I get mocked for THAT, well, not much I can do about it, but at the same time, I'm the only one who has to look in my mirror and like myself to keep existing on this planet, and in that regard, my opinion is the only one that matters.