Friday, October 28, 2016

It's time for another angry rant post, about how modern anime is boring

It's been awhile since I did an angry, spittle flecked post where I just bitch and moan, so I figured I might as well get all the resentment I've had out of my system, so if you don't want to hear me calling your waifus shit or shitting on anime in general as interpreted by modern day, stop here.

Anyway, here goes.

I don't watch anime too much these days. Honestly, it's becoming boring and reduced to three genres,

1. Tits and ass fests with silly premises.
2. Shows about kicking ass.
3. Combinations of the first two.

Honestly, I just can't bring myself to give a flaming bag of dog shit over modern day anime. Even modern day hentai anime is boring as hell, merely recycling the following;

1. Animated adaptations of much better manga.
2. Shit I've seen better hentai do better about a decade ago.
3. Either being boring edgy shock fests or cliche sex fests.

This especially sucks because on the non hentai side of things, we don't get thoughtful stuff like Spirited Away, which you could show your kids for the most part and still is entertaining for adults as well. We don't get cerebral stuff like Ghost In the Shell, which managed to deliver fanservice, asskicking, and plenty of navel contemplation about cybernetics, the human soul, and an intensely computerized society at the same time while not crapping out on delivering all three well. We don't get mecha anime that are cheesy fun like Gao Gai Gar or politics meets mecha like Gundam Wing. We don't get decent comedies like Azumanga Daioh or even dark yet well written action series like Witch Hunter Robin. We don't even get to see edgy done right like Getter Robo (non classic versions like Armageddon) anymore.

What we get these days is recycled versions of older shows and Gundam has reinvented itself so much I can't bother sitting through it anymore because none of it breaks any major ground anymore and Gundam AGE's hideous attempt to mix Martian Successor Nadescio without any of the charm with Gundam pretty much spelled out my ending desire to give a rat fuck about Gundam anymore. Most comedies are becoming more and more dependent on sex jokes to the exclusion of all other forms of comedy, to the point the sex comedy anime of old that were South Park level raunchy seem downright classy by comparison. And while anime doesn't entirely shit the bed and we get decent stuff like One Punch Man and JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, I find it sad that with the exception of action fests, all other forms of anime don't try anything interesting anymore, and even those action anime rely on flash and sizzle over substance to keep people watching, much like popcorn movies will keep you munching popcorn but when the movie ends your brain has registered nothing in reflection.

And even hentai is fucking boring. I'll never claim Night Shift Nurses is five star anime and it's not something I want to watch again because aspects of it really turn my stomach even now, so I find it sad even modern day edgelord hentai that try their best to make me puke and cry blood come off as so unmistakably tame, but then again, maybe I'm just so desensitized to the point I yawn while reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica "Offended" page that I have an immunity to cheap hentai shock.

And even the stuff that doesn't make me retch in the hentai world is kinda dull, partially due to that possible desensitizing issue, and also because modern day tits and ass anime (looking at you, Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid) try so damn hard to be hentai in all but name actual hentai seems more like a logical evolution than being a world beyond ordinary fanservice. Hell, one of the two minute OVA's for VDM featured a sex scene with more erotic attention than even most hentai get in an entire episode, so hentai doesn't really have that taboo "we can do stuff non hentai anime can't" barrier, at least not as much as it used to.

In fact, fuck it, shameful confession time, I used to be a massive anime fan because it appealed to my autistic tastes in entertainment I had cultivated since childhood, but these days that has atrophied so hard due to homogenization of a medium I once considered willing to take risks other media wouldn't that I find my autism is much more decently satisfied bitching about anime than I do actually watching it.

And while I did do an earlier article where I watched the anime "Keijo!!!!!!", I mostly did it to shit on the shitrag Kotaku, but I can't really say if someone handed me all the episodes of that show I'd be tempted to watch them anytime soon.

Which is a shame, because I used to be a sucker for watching any new anime that came down the pike.

Or maybe not, because none of it seems to break any new ground, most of it relies on asskicking and sex to sell ad nauseum, and I've seen so much of it cast aside any semblance of good taste, cleverness, originality, and charm that I honestly couldn't give a shit anymore.

And considering it only looks like it's getting worse, maybe that's a good thing.

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