Wednesday, December 17, 2014

In this post, I tell spammers to fornicate with their mothers

WARNING: ANGRY AND VERY VULGAR RANT ABOUT SPAMMERS AHEAD!

For those not aware, I hate spam. Spam email, spam on blogs, spam on wikis, any form of spam (well, the edible kind isn't too horrible if you have nothing else in the fridge) has my undying hatred, and even though I'm sure my feelings aren't unique, I want to share the reason why I detest spam and the idiots and assholes responsible for it.

1. It's lazy - Spam is the lazy asshole way of getting people to give a rat ass about their shitty blog, website, or product. Spam is what these shitstains on humanity's ass do when they can't be bothered to design a decent website and spread the word like a normal person. Instead, spammers shit out word salad messages with links and metadata tags related to whatever the fuck they want me to give a damn about with bot programs and smear the shit that is their crappy bastardization of advertising all over the internet, forcing me to have to junk folder it when using email, delete it on wikis I administrate, and attempt to ignore when reading comments on blogs and forums.

Seriously, I have no clue why the fuck anyone would result to such half assed, lazy methods of spreading the word about their pointless bullshit, but the methods they use only make me more determined not to give a fuck about their faggotry.

2. It's counterproductive - Spam is regarded with loathing across the internet, and with good reason: it takes up space that could be used for more worthwhile things and wastes the time of people who have better content to look at that than some bot produced link whore bullshit. It's also counterproductive because spammers know there are tons of ways people have come up with to defeat spam, spam is deleted with extreme prejudice on wikis so it rarely has a chance to thrive there, and I make a point of reporting every site I can that spams their URL in my face to Google so I get the satisfaction of watching their shit disappear from search engines.

My point is: Spammers have tons of enemies, and spamming more will only make everyone else who isn't an abortion that should have happened want to fuck over the spammers more.

3. It's insulting to the intelligence of everyone involved - Spammers operate on the cynical notion that even if no one clicks the links they spam (almost no one does), and even if no one looks for their shit on the internet (and almost no one does), they are hoping an increased search engine rank wil make their stupidity more appealing SEO wise and thus have a higher chance of showing up during a random Google search.

The insulting part comes from the fact they are assuming anyone will still give a shit, especially after these diseased cunts have pissed off all their potential viewers of their content by making an ass of themselves as described above. Also, Google is not amused by the faggotry of spammers and works their ass off trying to deny them the fake boost in SEO they were hoping for, so their continued spamming is just telling Google and the rest of humanity they are proud to be filthy leeches and don't care if the rest of the world wants to watch the idiots producing the spam be burned alive with a splintered baseball bat (wide end first) rammed up their assholes.

Seriously, anyone proud of being that much of shitheel is just a dickhead of the highest order IMO.

In conclusion, I have this to say to everyone who hates spammers: I feel your pain.

To the spammers, I have this to say: Fuck off, turn off the spam bot, and just plant yourself balls deep in your mother's asshole already. That would make at least one of you happy and not waste my time with your idiotic bullshit.

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